NEVER SAY NEVER|ABORTING MY FIRST PREGNANCY

I always said I would NEVER abort a pregnancy, but I secretly ached to never be put in a position to “play God”; choosing if a being has life or not. In my earlier years of being sexually active I was using depo-provera birth control which had worked well for me. I happened to get into a relationship where we both agreed I wouldn’t take it anymore and let nature decide if it was my time to mother a child or not. Well that was 3 years ago and I never bothered to get back on birth control after being reacquainted with my bodies natural function of a monthly cycle again. I was practicing safe sex up until the wildest decision to take part in the Porn Industry practicing “safe” pre-tested sex, but still not protecting myself fully from the possibility of pregnancy. Behind the scenes I was participating in wild sexual ventures and never thinking twice about the what if’s, as long as my bi-weekly STD screenings kept coming back with negative results. Ironically I had never seen what a positive pregnancy test looked like until I was retired from my Adult Entertainment lifestyle and being courted by a guy I was involved with for a short period of time. There was moments of shock, disbelief then excitement the first day of my discovery. Eventually the pregnancy symptoms gave me my first wake up call of reality that a baby was really growing inside of me. Naturally I grew more excited with the positive feedback I received from my mom and sisters who thought that day would never come for me. Me being 25 and not 1 pregnancy in my family is unnatural considering majority of my cousins in my generation had already had their bundle of responsibility. Me? I was the wild child living a life of creative free will in Miami and not considering to slow down anytime soon. Well that heart beat I heard my 5th week confirmed I would be doing more than adjusting to life after Adult Entertainment & Now a mommy and me life… eck!

My many wavering thoughts of not being married and the possibility of being a single mom later, not having a steady career to provide the way that I had planned, and most of all my unstable mental state with my Fathers’ recent death lead me to my next decision… Terminating my Pregnancy!

Abortion Laws are regulated by each state so know your rights within your state. The following states are affected by the Heart-Beat Bill that bans abortions after 6-8 weeks (first sign of a fetal heart beat): Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi and Ohio.

Florida allows abortions until the 24th week (3rd trimester) of pregnancy.

Planned Parenthood is nationally known for their abortions, although I’ve only ever visited for preventative care in the past. They were the first call I made, but they didn’t have any openings for another 12 days. I honestly didn’t want to deal with the constant nausea again for another week if I wasn’t planning to continue with my pregnancy. I made another call to a clinic in North Miami Beach that could get me in 3 days later, PERFECT! They asked if I would be completing the surgical or medical abortion and after doing my homework, the surgical procedure was the best fit for me. Aborting my first pregnancy was a hard decision on its own and I couldn’t bear the thought of completing my abortion at home with medicine. With the surgical procedure the cervix is widened with dilator rods,a tube is inserted into the womb and light suction is used to remove pregnant tissue through the tube. Generally a 10 minute procedure.

I was instructed to not eat or drink anything 12 hours before my appointment time which was set at 10:30am. I almost made it, but this darn dry cough I had in the middle of the night had me grabbing for that water bottle on my nightstand. I didn’t think it would hurt anything so of course I told the nurse “NO” when she asked at check in if I had anything the past 12 hours. I found a seat and filled out my medical information on a clipboard and silently chastised myself for getting into such a situation. The procedure plus office fees brought me to about $500 which my partner handled while I wandered back to my seat numb trying to imagine what my body would be experiencing in just moments. The nurse called on a lady that was waiting when I arrived and she disappeared, leaving just me and my partner and some action movie on Fx I grew agitated with in the background. Like who even picked this channel for the waiting room in the first place? 🥴 About 30 mins went by and the lady was returning to make a follow up appointment before exiting the building. Finally, my name was called in what felt like EVER and I was taken back for a urine sample where they used a stick pregnancy test to confirm the present HCG hormone level. I was then taken to the next step of getting my blood pressure recorded and finger pricked for blood samples. I waited a few minutes before being taken into the OB/GYN side of the office where I changed into my paper gown and waited for the doctor. He came in and conducted a trans-vaginal ultrasound which looks uncomfortable but much smaller than a baby’s head. My last image of the fetus was projected on a large screen, so I took a moment to get pictures of what I knew I would have a hard time forgiving myself for. The doctor and nurse left for a moment, then the nurse returned and escorted me to another room where the procedure would be taken place at. I took a deep breath as I got onto the table and allowed the nurse to strap my legs into stirrups to keep them open during the surgery. The IV for general anesthesia was placed into my arm and within seconds of it being hooked up I was off into La-La Land!

My first few memories was me throwing up on the side of the table and apologizing for the sip of water I had in the middle of the night. I deserved it! Once I was helped off of the table, I could feel the immediate pressure and pain in my uterus. I was placed into a big comfy leather chair with a heating pad over my stomach and a big throw blanket swallowing me up as I collapsed back into another nap. My sense of time was distorted, but I could definitely feel where my baby was no longer remaining. I was helped up from my slumber and instructed to pull the “tampon” out and use the maxi pad she was handing me. Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong, but I didn’t even know a tampon could go as far from where I pulled it…. but then again other things fit so no comment…. When I returned from the restroom the nurse took my blood pressure 3 times before returning me to the desk to pick up Post-Op instructions and Amoxicillin medicine for infection. I checked the time as my partner helped me in the car and it was barely 12:30pm, just in time for lunch! That day I ordered my favorite food that my nausea would never let me enjoy, Salmon!

6 Day post Op: So I honestly learned what happens during the procedure after it happened to make it hurt less (I know, sounds dumb) so I wasn’t prepared for the amounts of bleeding involved the first 2 days. I have experienced clots here and there that concerned me at first til I learned it’s normal. Excessive bleeding is considered soaking 2 maxi pads in 1 hour, and I wasn’t experiencing that much heavy bleeding so I just had to deal with it. I couldn’t really walk long distances until the 3rd day and it actually caused more bleeding when I moved around, so I went back on bed rest. I purchased a heating pad to soothe the cramps I experienced and the tissue soreness on the left side of my stomach. When the tenderness subsided I did circular massages to help pass the uterine tissue. Today is my 6th day of recovery and I am experiencing little to no bleeding with some soreness on my left side, but I can now walk longer distances.

I take full responsibility for these extensive actions taken place due to my sexual negligence. I am currently doing my homework on the best birth control that suits my lifestyle habits. But I am grateful I now have a chance to get myself in order for the next chance of life expectancy. Every woman deserves rights to her own body and pregnancy.

#Prochoice #WomensRights

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